Personal Leadership: It’s a Lifestyle
Over the last three years, I’ve had a lot of time to think.
Living in a country where I basically have zero personal obligations has resulted in more alone time then I’ve had in my entire life. Add 2020 to the mix and well, let’s just say the voices in my head are thirsty for conversation.
Truthfully I’ve been a little concerned a time or two, but what’s life without a little crazy here and there?!
Living in a society where I’m largely considered an outsider, observing the ‘inner circle’ has been a fascinating anthropological study resulting in an examination of not just Korean culture but the behaviours of the accompanying foreign community, my own culture and well… me.
The thing is, when you’re alone as often as I have been, there are no distractions and therefore no rugs to sweep things under. Your thoughts are LOUD and PERSISTENT.
What does it all mean?! Contemplating the meaning of life on a warm Sunday in spring amid the rose gardens.
(Gwangyang-Eup. May 2020)
One particularly annoying and slightly cliche question: How did I get here?
Like, I know I applied for a job, got on a plane then a bus, but what lead me to this moment? How did I end up in the south of South Korea, in this tiny country town with this particular Korean community and this particular group of foreigners? What led to this moment and how much of this is my own doing versus a greater plan devised by the Universe? If I went left instead of right, would it all be different?
As the Borg would say, “Resistance is futile.”
Unsuccessful in my attempts to ignore those pesky upstairs voices, only one option remained: accept and embrace, listen and answer.
At the end of the day I’m really glad I did, for many reasons which I’ll share over time. However, today, I’ll share just one…
I came up with this theory called Personal Leadership. On the surface, it’s pretty straight forward - lead yourself. It’s application runs on soul level. It’s about the pursuit of accomplishment, purpose, and fulfillment. The magic lies when the little nuances come together creating harmony within and move you to the next level of your evolution.
When I look back, this theory accurately describes all the times I’ve been successful and accomplished exactly what I set out to do no matter the obstacles. And it explains all the times I have tripped. Choked. Fallen on my butt. Failed.
Anyways, I kinda love it. The rest of this post is about that. I hope you enjoy it and maybe it’ll be the inspiration to do that thing you’ve been wanting to do for a long time, but haven’t.
With love,
Sarah
Personal leadership starts with a decision and is followed by an action.
Personal Leadership is achieved through clarity, courage and gumption, and the application of your personal resources - time, money and energy.
Personal Leadership is the choices you make in setting a course for your life, and is supported by your mindset, behaviour and use of personal resources (time, money and energy.)
It’s about intentionally setting out towards a destination that brings purpose and fulfillment. It’s an idea turned goal. Turned project. Turned lifestyle. And can be as simple as asking a question.
As you learn, grow, and continue to acquire more and more experience, you have to make choices along the way to either stay on course, tweak or veer. Those choices require clarity, courage and gumption.
The first ingredient of personal leadership is clarity.
What ignites your curiosity? What brings you light and joy? What are you good at? Or better yet, what do you like doing?
Clarity isn’t only knowing your destination. It’s about discovering your sense of purpose. The motivation that drives you forward and establishes meaning for your life.
Clarity (knowing your values, skills and talents, and what brings you joy) enables better decisions and leads to a more purposeful and fulfilling life.
I don’t always know what my purpose is. It ebbs and flows with the ups and downs, the good and bad. Clarity isn’t about avoiding the downs - it’s about observing and using them to evolve, learn and grow.
In the circumstances where I’ve made less favourable decisions, I can hear my intuition via her physical sensations - a pit in my stomach and knot in my throat. She says (sometimes screams): “Stop. This isn’t right. Nice try but time to move on. Do you really want to do that?! Abort!”
However, hearing and listening are two different things…
For the record, making mistakes or a bad decision is not a waste. Actually it’s quite the opposite - valuable insight telling you exactly where you don’t want to be or what you don’t want to do.
With that in mind, I allow myself to be curious and trust that my brain and heart are going to steer me in the right direction. I trust my gut is going to speak up, one way or another. And believe me, I’ve not listened enough times to know at this point in my life, my instinct deserves way more credit.
The second ingredient of personal leadership is courage and that has everything to do with mindset.
Being courageous is about going forth despite your fears - fear of failure, rejection, judgement, change, or uncertainty, being embarrassed, being alone, running out of money or being homeless- to name a few. It’s about being ok knowing that you can’t control anything but yourself, and still willing to go out there and give it your all.
Developing your courage can be done through mindfulness, challenging yourself (for the purpose of growth) and facing your fears. It falls anywhere between taking one small step forward and a giant leap of faith.
Embracing courage helps you to discover ideas, skills and choices you didn’t think were possible before.
Off the top of my head, two deliberately courageous things I’ve done:
Quitting my job with all the bells and whistles of over 20 years and moving to the other side of the world without knowing a soul or speaking a lick of the language.
Sleeping outside - no tent… Just me and the wilderness.
Both are vastly different experiences. Regardless of the fact that they sit on different ends of the ‘seriousness’ spectrum, each scenario needed me to embrace the challenge and work through not just my internal fears, but the intense societal pressure to do it “their” way.
The reward? Total exuberance.
The last ingredient of personal leadership is gumption.
Walking the walk. Taking action to make changes or execute a plan that moves you closer to your purpose. When you have gumption, you focus on the goal or the destination, and you journey upon that path with devotion, enthusiasm and spirit.
When “life” happens and obstacles get in your way, you tackle them like Hermione Granger in a Harry Potter novel. That means taking initiative, being resourceful and having determination.
With gumption in your back pocket, you open yourself up to wonderful experiences and the power to turn lemons into lemonade.
Gumption is rooted 100% in the process… You must do the process.
Taking action has never been a problem for me. I’m a natural go-getter with a killer work-ethic.
(Fully and unapologetically tooting my own horn there. Wink!)
However, I’ve learned there’s a big difference between barreling through like a bull in a china shop versus conscientiously tackling a new goal.
Personal leadership is a way of life. It’s something you are, not something you do.
When all three components of personal leadership work together, synergy is achieved and you elevate not just your chance for success and personal advancement, but a sense of accomplishment, fulfillment and inner peace.
That being said, don’t think it doesn’t take practice because it does, just like everything worth while in life. We all have egos, doubts, and personal tribulations that challenge us. Like maintaining a fine booty, you have to apply yourself, focus, be consistent and dedicated. But it’ll happen. And it’s worth it. You’re worth it.